learn to lift up, learn to put down 
finally my conclusion is to put a full stop to it.. in order not to get deeper inside.. maybe tat the best way avoid more trouble..
learn to give way and learn to give in
i now quite happy wit my attitude performance tis recently cos i have been tryin to control my so call "f**k up" pattern and it turn out to be in a smooth condition.. how other look how other see it doesn't realli matter to me cos most important is how i goin to define myself.. how i goin to look myself.. how i goin to treat other.. maybe it onli last a short period and who noe i might be back my old self but still i will try try try no matter wat..
wat make me have this change, maybe it due to the accident.. and it time for me to wake up...
